TO KILL APOLOGIES
I keep talking about suicide but I won’t do it.
It’s too ultimate.
I want to be temporary.
I want to live at the end of a fishing line
And be pulled onto the deck
With my gut not eaten.
I want to cut my mind into little fish chunks.
I want to chum the scum of my derogation
And gather myself back into a bait bag,
Find a reason to catch myself in the chaotic ocean.
I am bothered by the bother of extraneous thoughts.
They attack me like snipers.
I want to shoot back at the jihadists.
Islamophobia is a compliment.
I pat myself on the back for recognizing radical cruelty.
To forgive killers is to endorse their terrorist ways.
I forgive myself for hating killers but I don’t forgive killers
For killing Americans.
I want to kill apologies.
I want to end the beheadings by cutting off my thumb
And sticking it down Islamic throats.