Russia

Russia’s New “SATAN 2” Missile – Coming Soon To A Town Near You!

For anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock in 2018, may we suggest that you talk to your doctor about your anxiety?

No, I’m not talking to the folks who have been clinically diagnosed with anxiety.  I’m talking about those who see the world around them falling into a pit of despair situation, and whose only real hope of a prosperous turnaround came in the form of a reality TV star who told Washington D.C. that they’re fired.  

I’m talking to the folks who have witnessed a new, stealthy nuclear arms race begin, with familiar faces in Russia, China, and North Korea defaulting to the new Axis of Evil on the precipice of World War III.  (That’s not to say that Israel hasn’t already started the inevitable conflict..they very well may have just yesterday).

When it comes to direct threats to the United States, however, no one seems to pose a larger risk than our newly rebranded Cold War Foe Russia, formerly known as The Soviet Union.

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Just this week, President Trump and several U.S. allies leveled a heavy blow at the Russian government in retaliation for a little bit of Kremlin caca that went down over the course of the last several months.

More than 20 western allies have ordered the expulsion of dozens of Russian diplomats in response to the nerve agent attack in the UK, in a show of solidarity that represents the biggest concerted blow to Russian intelligence networks in the west since the cold war.

Over 100 Russian diplomats alleged to be spies in western countries are being told to return to Moscow, in a coordinated response to the use of a chemical weapon in the attempted murder of Sergei Skripal, a former Russian intelligence official, and his daughter, Yulia, in Salisbury on 4 March.

In a sombre statement in the House of Commons, Theresa May welcomed what she said was “the largest collective expulsion of Russian intelligence officers in history”.

So, I guess you could say that things are getting a bit ugly, and there isn’t any doubt that the invasively nosey Vladimir Putin is keenly aware of the situation.

In fact, Putin’s latest military testing seems to indicate that he may be reveling in the negative attention, showing the world that he is, in fact, the owner of the most powerful nuclear missile on the planet.

Ladies and gentlemen:  We are horrified to introduce to you the SATAN 2 missile.

According to the Russians, the Satan 2 is literally unstoppable, falling into a new class with hypersonic projectiles that traditional air defense mechanisms cannot catch up to.

The Sarmat is a heavy ICBM intended to replace Russia’s aging, Soviet-era missiles that form the basis of its nuclear deterrent. The Sarmat, which NATO named “Satan 2,” has been in development since at least 2011 and is believed to be able to carry an increased number of nuclear warheads and has an increased range.

The Sarmat was among the arsenal of new “invincible” nuclear weapons that Russia’s president Vladimir Putin touted in a speech in March and that included a nuclear-powered cruise missile and a hypersonic intercontinental missile.

As with the other weapons he unveiled in his speech, Putin hailed the Sarmat as rendering ineffective even the most advanced missile defense systems that the United States might deploy for the foreseeable future.

“No kind of, not even future missile defense systems will offer any trouble to the Russian rocket complex, Sarmat,” Putin said in his state of the nation speech.

It seems that Vladimir Putin isn’t content with merely poking and prodding at the west when they disapprove of his covert and clandestine nonsense.  Instead, he relishes the opportunity to rebound from such diplomatic squabbles by once again grabbing the proverbial tape measure in his hypothetical and always raging anatomy-measuring contest.

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