Canada

Previously Polite Poutine Pilferers Tell Americans To GO CANUCK THEMSELVES!

It turns out that, against common sense, that what Americans call prosperity, the rest of the world calls “xenophobic”, “racist”, “bigoted”, or any number of virtue signaling dog whistle terms…even our buddies to the north.

We as a nation have been pondering the possibilities of a future in which our borders are secure against the threat that illegal immigration poses.  Obviously, the main concern has been the southern border with Mexico, given that the wonderful nation to our south has been riddled with drug gangs, violence, and organized crime over the course of the last few decades.  Cartel gun battles rage near the border, while drugs flow into Texas, Arizona, and other border states at breakneck speeds.

Certainly, President Trump’s willingness to end marijuana prohibition in America would take an enormous bite out of the problems we face with these cretinous cartels, but it surely isn’t enough.

While that debate simmers on Capitol Hill and around social media, however, a new aggression has appeared on our northern border as well, with the normally polite provincials of Canada turning against their closest ally at an alarming rate.

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Canadians have taken to practicing pocketbook diplomacy in defense of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who is caught in a trade war of words with President Trump, by boycotting American goods and canceling vacations to the United States, according to a report.

Shoppers are shunning Kentucky bourbon, California wine and Florida oranges, and avoiding American companies like Starbucks, Walmart and McDonald’s, Canadian network CTV News reported on Wednesday.

On Twitter, hashtags like #BuyCanadian, #BoycottUSProducts and #BoycottUSA are spreading as outrage over Trump’s trade tariffs grows.

An Ottawa man posted a “Trump-free grocery cart”full of products from Canada or from “countries with strong leadership.”

Vacationers said they would be staying up north this summer instead of booking trips to the US.

And they certainly weren’t shy about it.

“F​–k​ you Trump. We just booked a $3,000 vacation to beautiful British Columbia. Happy anniversary to us. #Canadastrong #BuyCanadian #F***Tariffs,” tweeted ​Supreme Leader Lyna.

Of course, this newfound Newfoundland nagging comes just days after Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was frightened out of his eyebrows by President Trump.

“Maple syrup is not an adequate eyebrow adhesive” is a sentence that I never thought I would have the opportunity to publish.  Thank you, Mr. Trudeau for that.

In all seriousness though, the idea that even Canada has fallen for the mainstream media’s “Trump is Hitler” schtick is disturbing on many levels, given the fondness that the two nations once had for each other.  Perhaps it is the youthful ignorance of the prosthetic-brow-enthusiast in charge that is allowing such animosity to fester, or, perhaps, there is a little bit of jealousy inherent in the act.

In either case, my money is on the SEALS over the Mounties.

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