Portland Takes Honor of Snowflake Capital Of United States

The lengths to which leftists will take their political correctness has become simply absurd and asinine in recent years, and now Portland is stepping up their game to compete.

The city with the second-largest population of hipsters worldwide, (being barely beaten by the Williamsburg borough in New York City), has long been known for their ridiculous left-leaning lunacy, often being saddled with quite the snowflake stereotype.  Now, 4 months after they led the nation in a day of unrest to protest the fairly elected and newly inaugurated President Trump, Portland is now making their case for being the most ridiculously leftist city in the entire nation.

How do they hope to achieve such an “honor”?  By closing a local burrito restaurant for “stealing from Mexico”.

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“Kali Wilgus and Liz ‘LC’ Connelly, owners of Portland pop-up shop Kooks Burritos, just wanted to make and sell some really great burritos. So when they were on a trip to Puerto Nuevo, Mexico, they “picked the brains” of the local tortilla ladies and brought those recipes back to the States.

“’I picked the brains of every tortilla lady there in the worst broken Spanish ever, and they showed me a little of what they did,’ Connelly told Willamette Weekly. ‘They told us the basic ingredients, and we saw them moving and stretching the dough similar to how pizza makers do before rolling it out with rolling pins. They wouldn’t tell us too much about technique, but we were peeking into the windows of every kitchen, totally fascinated by how easy they made it look. We learned quickly it isn’t quite that easy.’

“Whelp, apparently this interview sparked an Internet shitstorm, which ended in Kooks Burritos shutting down and the two white women who owned it scrubbing social media of the business’ existence.

“’Now that you all boldly and pretty [expletive] unapologetically stole the basis of these women’s livelihoods, you can make their exact same product so other white ppl don’t have to be inconvenienced dealing with a pesky brown middle woman getting in their way,’ wrote a woman in the interview’s comment section.

“The women became the subject of local editorials and, of course, fucking fanned the flames with an article, ‘These white cooks bragged about stealing recipes from Mexico to start a Portland business.’”

For tens of minutes I attempted to rack my brain for a succinct and well-thought conclusion to this news.  I soon realized that exactly what has been said by these liberal miscreants pretty well speaks for itself.

I don’t know about you, but I could really go for a burrito right about now.

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