The one “story” that best shows how far CNN has fallen from a serious news network to the joke of the industry is its four-day quest to track down an unmarked, white panel truck to find out where it came from and who owned it.
To what earth-shaking story did this truck hold the key? Did this white truck contain clues to a horrendous murder? Perhaps its discovery could have led to the prevention of a terrorist plot? Was it at least violating traffic laws?
Nope, nope and nope.
CNN was all hot and bothered — for four broadcast days — to track down this truck because it got between its cameras and President Donald Trump’s golf buddies in West Palm Beach, Florida, on December 26.
After broadcasting the story and for the following four days CNN’s White House producer Noah Gray lost his tiny little mind about this monstrous truck.
In one of his first tweets, Gray complained, “Yesterday & 2 other times during POTUS’ Winter vacation, CNN cameras captured Trump golfing, from public sidewalk. Today, not possible.”
Yesterday & 2 other times during POTUS' Winter vacation,CNN cameras captured Trump golfing, from public sidewalk. Today, not possible pic.twitter.com/EIfmWCj5kD
— Noah Gray (@NoahGrayCNN) December 27, 2017
After receiving push back on his obsession with the truck, Gray insisted it was somehow un-American to prevent the press from spying through trees on Trump’s golf game.
From there CNN threw its entire investigative prowess into tracking down who owned the truck and who placed it betwixt and between Trump and CNN’s cameras.
The next day, CNN’s Kevin Liptak reported a statement from the Secret Service that they did not provide the truck to block reporters from seeing the golf game. The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department also told the anti-Trump cable network that their department also had nothing to do with the presence of the panel truck.
But CNN was now on this important case with a vengeance. You see, CNN was not satisfied with the statements from the sheriff’s office and the Secret Service. Soon it was broadcasting near hourly updates breathlessly captioning pictures of the vehicle “Truck attempts to block CNN view of Trump golfing.”
I know what you’re thinking: THE HORRORS! It is a sorid tale, indeed. Not one about who owned the truck, but in how silly and trivial CNN’s coverage has become.
Soon all of CNN’s — *cough* — top anchors were on the case of the mysterious truck.
“This may seem trivial, but it is important to get video of the president as he does these things on a daily basis…the president and the White House have tried to obscure the fact that President Trump golfs on a regular basis,” CNN’s Dan Merica squawked to Don Lemon during the latter’s Wednesday broadcast, Fox News reported.
Next CNN was sending camera crews to a lot owned by the Sheriff’s office to film a truck that is similar to the one parked near the golf course. CNN found that this truck may not have been the same truck, though, and so, off they went elsewhere in search of their quarry.
Next this important investigation metastasized to a CBS reporter who confirmed that the truck CNN saw in the Sheriff’s lot was, indeed, the same truck that dared block CNN’s camera. Despite the reporting by CBS’ Mike Magnoli, the department insisted it did not authorize the truck to be used as a screen.
Whatever really happened, the fascination CNN had with this truck made it a laughing stock of the industry (again).
It wasn’t long before wiseacre Twitter users launched into CNN with a vengeance.
I just saw a white box truck. Of course I reported it directly to @CNN
— Daniel John Johnson (@DanielJohnJohn1) December 29, 2017
Disappearance of airliner MH370 now connected to mysterious white truck parked in Palm Beach FL. Wolf Blitzer has the paperwork but is it smeared with a mysterious brown substance.
— Andrea Silver (@andilnx) December 29, 2017
CNN has finally run out of news, and has come full circle. The only thing that matters again is a white truck. pic.twitter.com/IpaSrxcMSV
— John Groves (@jfgroves) December 29, 2017
CNN Noah Gray: And in more breaking news, we found a bicycle chained to a tree yesterday. I could be the same bike that was chained up in front of Walmart the day prior. We think it might be owned by a Russian too.
— JK4tySeven (@JK4tySeven) December 29, 2017
Haven't checked Twitter in a couple hours. Has CNN gotten to the bottom of the truck thing? Is it Hoffa's body? It'd be a huge scoop if it was Hoffa's body. They should keep looking into it. I bet it's Hoffa's body.
— Omri Ceren (@omriceren) December 29, 2017
CNN has become a place of silly trivialities all driven by its Trump derangement syndrome. No wonder its ratings are the worst in all of cable news. It has earned that dubious honor.