New Jersey

Nuclear Emergency Warning In NJ Turns Out To Be Accident, Frightens Residents

The world is seemingly on edge in recent weeks, with North Korea, Russia, the United States, and others all struggling to contain their flaring tempers on the world’s stage.

Of particular worry has been North Korea and their diminutive dictator Kim Jong Un.  Kim’s nuclear ambitions, (which may or may not reflect reality), have been concerning to say the least.  The North Korean leader has on several occasions threatened to win the United States off of the map with his purported nuclear arsenal, prompting massive military actions by the U.S. in the waters just off of the Korean Peninsula.  Furthermore, the concern that his massive diesel submarine fleet could slip quietly into American harbors, laden with nuclear-tipped missiles, has kept more than one national security expert awake at night.

Residents of New Jersey were similarly fraught with peril today as the state issued an emergency broadcast warning of a “nuclear emergency”.  Luckily for residents of the Garden State, this message was displayed in error.

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As you can imagine, residents of New Jersey were more thank panicked for some time.  Thoughts of North Korean subs, Russian ICBM’s, and terrorism danced throughout their heads.

Thankfully, the entire issue was resolved within a few moments, and the citizens of the East Coast were able to resume their regularly scheduled worries, such as what to have for dinner, and which democratic storyline they’d be forced to endure on the evening news.

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