WHAT’S THE CAUSE OF ALL THE DIVISION IN POLITICS? WHY ISN’T EVERYONE VOTING LIKE A LIBERAL? IT’S BECAUSE THE DISSENTERS ARE SUFFERING FROM A SERIOUS DEFECT…
Liberals know where to hit you. In their writings about the woes that plague the country, they go for that gut punch that, if unprepared for it, will knock the breath from your chest. They do it subtly, and probably with a little grin on their face.
If you read their articles while at work, then, like the brain ninja, their words slip into the back of your mind and give your cerebellum the furtive katana jab. The next thing you know, you’re having a hard time concentrating on your work because you just feel so bad for some reason.
They know where our treasures lie. They know how to sneak in and rob us blind. That’s because they know the shape of our heart. They know its deepest secrets, desires, and yearnings.
They know these things because they trained us. They taught us how to think and how to feel as children, and so now, as adults, they know how to pluck those emotional strings that, like in the Manchurian Candidate, reawaken that powerful force which they buried deep within us.
I’m talking about the desire to be thought of as an educated person. And the fact that you realize you might not, actually, be one.
Not by the liberal standard, anyway.