James Comey

James Comey’s Tome of Gibberish Attacks POTUS in Pettiest of Ways

It has been called “Trump Derangement Syndrome”, and with good reason; the left has continually devolved into a petty and pedantic “resistance” of the lowest order.

Simply put, these vermin aim to obstruct the will of the President, and, ergo, the will of We The People, by shaming their fellow Americans into servitude.  Yes, it is wildly, unnervingly shallow and petulant, and some of the attacks being waged in the direction of the man responsible for keeping Russian nukes off of Main Street, U.S.A. are simply silly.

There are the obvious, broad, dumb jokes that we hear every single day like some sort of leftist incantation:  He’s too tan.  His hair is weird.  He does that one thing with his hands all the time.

Donald Trump
Yeah. That thing.

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According to the BBC “news” segment captured above, this is Trump’s “baseline” move, meaning, that the BBC believes that the President is telegraphing his mood swings dexterously.

And, as it pertains to hands, I am also segueing our next point about the President’s appendages:  Their size.

Or, if you’re hearing this from the left today, the lack of size of the President’s hands.  It was a strange sidetone in the 2016 electoral run-up when then-candidate Trump made sure to clear it up quite publicly.

Even after that emphatic endorsement of  his own hands, the #HandGate scandal just won’t go away…much like former FBI Director turned author(?) James Comey, whose latest book dredges the subject back up again.

ABC News and the Washington Postreleased extensive reports on the contents of Comey’s 304-page memior, titled A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership.

Comey describes his impressions after meeting Trump for the first time at a pre-inauguration intelligence briefing at Trump Tower. Comey writes the president-elect’s “face appeared slightly orange, with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles, and impressively coiffed, bright blond hair, which upon close inspection looked to be all his. I remember wondering how long it must take him in the morning to get that done.”

Comey reveals that he was paying attention to the size of Trump’s hands, referring to a comment from Sen. Marco Rubio during the 2016 presidential race that Trump had small hands. Trump had called Rubio “Little Marco.”

Comey wrote that Trump’s hands are smaller than his own. “As he extended his hand,” Comey wrote of the first meeting, “I made a mental note to check its size. It was smaller than mine, but did not seem unusually so.”

To paraphrase the iconic actor Jeff Goldblum, Comey spent so much time trying to figure out ways to work a Trump-Hand dig into his book that he didn’t stop to think about whether or not he should work a Trump-Hand dig into his book.

(For the Deep State we use another co-opted quote from Jurassic Park:  Are there any republicans in your republican party?)

Now the media cycle begins anew.  The folks over at CNN will be searching the archives to see what ran well back when this was an issue last time.  They’ll be calling advertising buddies over at Purell saying, “we’re doing the hands thing again Thursday, you might want to get a new sanitizer promo primed.  People will be thinking about their hands this week.  Big week for hands.”

World War III and the end of the world are headed this way and James Comey is talking about the President’s hands.

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