Florida and Georgia are being threatened by Hurricane Matthew, and devotees of President Obama are calling upon him to invoke his divine powers to stop it.
Seriously … though perhaps not in so many words.
At a Rose Garden press conference, Obama touted the international climate change agreement reached in Paris, which has now been adopted by sufficient number of stupid nations — We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1! — to go into effect within 30 days.
What the agreement actually does is require nations that sign on to come up with plans to sufficiently cripple their economies to reduce carbon production and keep the Earth from warming more than 2 degrees above pre-industrial levels.
That’s the boilerplate on the press release, anyway. It doesn’t really explain which pre-industrial carbon production levels are the benchmark. I mean, are we going for the carbon levels during the Medieval warm period, the last ice age, or even further back to when Antarctica was a subtropical paradise?
None of that matters, though, because the important thing is, We Can Control the Weather.
Never been able to before, but we’re magically different now because Obama’s been in office, just in time to fight The Biggest Threat Facing Mankind. “Today is a historic day in the fight to protect our planet for future generations,” Obama said. “Make no mistake: This agreement will help delay and avoid some of the worst consequences of climate change.”
Right on cue, NBC’s Ron Allen linked the auspicious non-events at the Rose Garden to Hurricane Matthew, saying, “It’s very interesting that this is happening a day when there’s a hurricane bearing down on the United States and in the Caribbean because these severe storms, beach erosions, intense weather episodes that we’ve had is perhaps the most practical sample of what the president was talking about as the threat that the planet faces.”
Got that? Hurricanes. Threat to planet.
Bear in mind that the U.S. hasn’t had a major hurricane make landfall in nine years or so. There is no rash of “intense weather episodes that we’ve had.” There’s just weather.
Nonetheless, Allen continued, saying that storms like Matthew “is what this whole climate agreement signed by 190 nations and now ratified by 60 or so is designed to stop.”
And it’s all the handiwork of Barack Hussein Obama — mmm, mmm, mmm.
It’s no secret that Barack Obama ascended to the presidency amid a flood of what was essentially religious devotion. Downright creepy religious devotion.
The community organizer with no background and no identifying marks — if you listened to the media at the time — was such a public cipher that he became loaded with every hope and dream of the Left, finally crossing over into messianic imagery.
Obama himself has always encouraged such talk. After all, the narcissist’s ego must feed.
Remember his nomination victory speech: “I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.”
All because Obama won a vote.
Imagine what he could do with a little help from his power-hungry friends.
“One of the reasons I ran for this office was to make America a leader in this mission. And over the past eight years, we’ve done just that,” Obama said.
Now, a normal person would look at the nearly decade-long lack of hurricane landfalls and conclude that the computer models that regularly predict “extreme weather” are just churning out a bunch of malarkey.
Devotees of Obama and climate change catastrophism, however, would have you believe that not only have we been assaulted by a vast number of invisible, undetectable storms, but that Obama is the reason you don’t know about them. (He stopped them. Yay.)
That might seem contradictory. You may be thinking, hey, either there are storms or there aren’t, but when your president has the power to reach out his hand and change the global climate, like Jesus calming the storm, only more impressive, then anything is possible, even if it makes no sense logically.
“Yes, a lot is at stake at this election,” Allen assured us, “this is one other huge thing that’s at stake, and that’s why the President is been pushing so strongly for Hillary Clinton to follow him into office because she supports this, she believes in this and clearly Donald Trump and the Republicans do not.”
It’s all part of the Obama cult, which hasn’t gone away, just taken its sacrificing of chickens down into the White House basement and the backrooms of Hillary Clinton’s campaign offices.
Meanwhile, in the real world, the White House has cancelled all Obama’s campaign events in Florida today, just in case, you know, a hurricane happens.