DNC’s Convention Schedule Just Revealed & It’s a Kicker

An unknown author published what the Democratic National Convention’s schedule would look like based on policies Democrats have pushed over the last eight years.

It’s gone viral on social media and, it is classic.


SAVE THE DATE : Democratic Convention Schedule:
Monday, July 25, 2016

11:15 AM
Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention, with forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

1:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Illegal Aliens.

3:15 PM
Rachel Dolezal, (white woman and former Seattle NAACP Chairwoman, and Bruce Jenner (former male olympian, turned transgendered) co-present: “Being the Real You.”

4:30 PM
Hillary Clinton speech: “How to Bank $200 Million as a public servant and claim to be dead broke.”

4:45 PM
Seminar, moderated by Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson: “How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes.”

5:00 PM
Medal of Freedom presentation to recipients: Army deserter Bo Bergdahl (serving with Honor and Distinction) and National Security Advisor Susan Rice.

5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session: Recipients receive souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea Clinton dodging sniper fire in Bosnia.

6:30 PM
General Yea/Nay vote

At issue: recognizing Baltimore rioters and looters as “Alternative Shoppers.”

7:30 PM
Breakout Session: former president Bill Clinton advises women how to avoid the upcoming draft.

8:30 PM
White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting
General Yea/Nay vote

At issues: re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance.”

9:00 PM
Tutorial: “Liberal Bias in Media: How we can make it work for you!”
Sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS, The Washington Post, and The New York Times, with Guest Speaker, Brian Williams.

9:15 PM
Short Film Screening with Michael Moore: “Tribute to the Brave ‘Freedom Fighters’ still incarcerated at GITMO.”

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar: “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs,” Keynote speaker, Hillary Clinton.

11:00 PM
Short film, “Setting Up Your Individual, Illegal Email Server While Also Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal,” Introduced by Hillary Clinton.

11:30 PM
Official Nomination of Hillary Clinton as the Democratic presidential nominee, hosted by Bill Maher and Chris Matthews.

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