California Succumbing to Secession, or Steering Toward Splits-ville?

Californians have a reputation, albeit a fair one, of being a bit excessive when it comes to their reaction to minor issues.  I suppose that’s just part of the progressive mindset; always moving, even if it’s in circles.

So, when the big ones hit, Californians begin to scurry and scamper like an angry anthill, furiously and urgently tedious at the same time.  Many of them just chasing their own thorax around, looking active.  Looking like they’re working.

A big one came to California, all right, in the form of a Donald Trump presidency.

The left reared and bucked like a wild mustang being saddled for the first time.  Trump has, so far, mounted the Bear Republic beast successfully, inhaling some hoof-trodden dust, but not so much as a bruise otherwise.  Still, there, underneath him writhes California, pretending to be free from the federal, financially.  Pretending to be a “sanctuary” from the federal goons.

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The state has even threatened to secede.

And while it may seem as though every Californian you’ve ever known is a staunch progressive, that’s only because of the inherent guilt of being at the end of Manifest Destiny.  During that sprint across this nation, those born on the western frontier new California as the end of the world, but had seen their parents or grandparents work so incredibly hard for what they had that stopping at the coast seemed like a copout.  This guilt of having it easier has reverberated across the nation as the population surges bounce off of the Pacific Beaches.  The only problem in California is that this progressive attitude only really travels back a couple hundred miles inward.

In the northern, eastern, mountainous regions of California, the population is overwhelmingly conservative, much like how New York City’s enormous population governmentally holds the rest of the massive state’s conservatives hostage.  This stark contrast has posited an interesting idea in the consciousness of The Golden State:  What if we just split this bad boy up a little?

An initiative to split California into three states has received enough signatures to qualify for the November ballot, its author said Wednesday.

Venture capitalist Tim Draper said backers of what he has dubbed “CAL 3” would submit petitions with more than 600,000 signatures to election officials next week. The initiative needs signatures from 365,880 registered voters – five percent of the total votes cast for governor in the 2014 election – to qualify for the ballot.

“This is an unprecedented show of support on behalf of every corner of California to create three state governments that emphasize representation, responsiveness, reliability and regional identity,” Draper said.

And how would this look, on paper?

One proposed state would be called California or a name to be chosen by its residents after a split. It would consist of Los Angeles, Ventura, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Monterey and San Benito counties.

A second state, Southern California or a name to be chosen by its residents, would consist of Orange, Riverside, San Bernardino, San Diego, Imperial, Kern, Kings, Fresno, Tulare, Inyo, Madera and Mono counties.

The remaining 40 counties would be part of the state of Northern California or a name chosen by its residents.

What?  Were Commie-Fornia, Fascist-Ville, and South of Hippies taken?


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