If you’re not a Jesse Stone fan, you have probably never heard Tom Selleck utter, “I don’t box. I fight.” What’s the difference? “Rules.”
He is absolutely right. If you have ever viewed a professional boxing match, or even seen a Rocky movie, you know that at the beginning of the bout, the referee tells both battle participants, “no hitting below the belt, no rabbit punches, etc.” You would think that when two people are getting ready to beat the snot out of each other, rules would seem silly, but they are there, in essence, to make it a “fair” fight.
We can learn all types of things from the world around us if we are open to the lessons instead of just the carnage. In this case, we can learn how to have a better marriage. Now I am not suggesting you go out and buy boxing gloves and start smacking your spouse around with them. P.S. My wife has a pair of pink ones purchased under the guise of a fitness challenge with her girlfriends.
I am suggesting that when, not if, but when, you inevitably have an argument with the person you promised to love, honor and cherish, that you have rules. Now I know some of you are rolling your eyes, but hear me out.
A professional boxer trains for 3-5 hours 5 days a week. We train for marriage much longer than that. We watch our parents and other couples as we grow up and see how they act and generally follow suit. If your parents lost and wound up divorced, you are going to want to train to NOT do what they did. If they are still married but aren’t happy about it, you might want to do things differently. If they are married for 50+ years and still love each other, you are trained to near perfection. That does not mean the person you share your bed with is. That is when rules are really important.
If your marriage is important to you, and it should be, you will sit down while you are calm and discuss what rules you want to have in place before your next battle. You might even want to have a referee (aka minister or other counselor) present who has a good idea where to start. If you are not married yet but one day want to be, you should definitely start warming up now and getting yourself in condition for the Rumble in the Jungle.