A Democratic congressman from Massachusetts in a congressional hearing on food stamps, Jim McGovern, said, “I Googled Donald Trump’s eating habits. It’s not a pretty picture.”
We’re finally going to get to the important stuff. Now that we’ve covered racism, sexism, misogyny, xenophobia, orange skin and the hair, we can start to discuss the things that really matter about the leader of the free world: “Is he getting enough fiber, vitamin K, and antioxidants in his diet? Is he eating enough raw fruits and vegetables?” People who need something, anything to snivel about need to opine.
Trending: 20 Trump Triumphs the Media Ignored!
The President said that the press is the enemy of the American people. This has caused the press to throw a hissy fit strongly resembling a 13-year old girl with no Wi-Fi. The best they can come up with is that Trump is psychotic. What kind of president, or any politician for that matter, doesn’t kiss the ring of the almighty Press? Obviously, he must be nuttier than Filbert night on the Squirrel Chef Network.
Front page news: The Roe v. Wade plaintiff, Norma McCorvey has passed away at the age of 69. Also, the Blind Sheikh who was involved in the 1993 attack on the World Trade Center has died in prison. A few pages in, you can find out that four undocumented immigrants – what we used to call illegal aliens until we found out it damaged their delicate psyches – were recently charged with sexually abusing a girl routinely from when she was 8-years old until she was 14-years old. It’s kind of old-fashioned and puritanical to think that heinous crimes should get more coverage than obituaries, but that’s how I roll.
Whatever your view of immigrants and immigration, you have to wonder what some of them are thinking about. There are stories all over the internet about immigrants – legal and illegal – doing the “Day Without Immigrants.” It was supposed to show how necessary they are to our economy and vital to our day-to-day existence. They took the day off. Apparently a lot of immigrants failed to clear their absences with the boss first. A lot of bosses said, “I got your necessary and vital right here,” and fired them. Just a note for employees – immigrant or otherwise: you cost the boss money. Customers bring the boss money. Guess which one he’ll miss more quickly.
This just in: The newspapers and the television news may not be telling you the whole truth about everything. That website you’re reading may not be telling you the whole truth about everything. I may not be telling you the whole truth about everything because I don’t get out of the house much and people annoy me. I might make fun of your haircut if I get the chance, too, so there’s that. But I do know this. Nobody yet has named a source who told them there was a connection between Donald Trump’s campaign and the Russian Government. We’re about four months past the election. You would think that by now we’d be able to find out who told them this stuff.
It’s not a complaint. All the Russia memes are a hoot.