TV Deprivation

So we have 2 televisions in our home. I know *gasp* only 2- how do we survive? Our poor abused children. Get over it, there are people starving on the planet. At least that is what my wife told me when I suggested 32” was not a big enough screen for my viewing pleasure.

Anyway, one is in our bedroom. That one has no parental blocks in place because the children are not supposed to be in there. It is our sanctuary. NO KIDS ALLOWED. Now if only the kids understood that.  The other is in the living room and my wife set up the strictest controls available on it. This would not be an issue if she would tell me the passcode. When I asked her for the 4 digit number she looked at me and simply said “You really should know it”. Oh great! That is code for “It is a date of significant importance” So is it her birthday? I checked facebook because they keep track of that sort of thing. NOPE. Our anniversary? I called my mom to find out when that was because she sends a card. NOPE. Maybe it’s my birthday- amazingly I remember that one. NOPE. Great now I am locked out and have to call Customer Service. Now they need the passcode to unlock it. I surrender and hand her the phone. Finally, now I can watch Gold Rush. Why would they think Gold Rush isn’t suitable for children? Oh yeah- Tony %$#&@?* Beets

All of this leads me to two things.

#1 Why don’t commercials have ratings? Those Live Links commercials are way trashier than most of the shows I watch. Carl’s Jr. is selling way more than burgers on their ads. It’s soft porn at best. I won’t even go into the KY and condom commercials.

#2 Why didn’t I just go into the bedroom and watch TV in the first place? Because I think that is my wife’s plan. She wants me in there and out of her way so she can move my stuff under the guise of “cleaning up this dang mess”. I don’t know why she doesn’t understand that I need to keep a week’s worth of dirty socks beside my recliner so that I don’t wear yucky ones by accident. Maybe if she put a laundry basket in the living room  so I wouldn’t have to walk to one of the 5 rooms that have one we could stop arguing about it.  Picky Passcode Hoarding Wife- I think she needs to be retrained- Is there a reality show for that?

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