antifa

Play By Play of Last Night’s Game of Antifa Tear Gas Dodgeball

Shortly after the President concluded his raucous and rowdy takedown of the mainstream media last night, all hell broke loose outside of the Phoenix Convention Center.

There is no clear and concise account of what caused the crowd to turn violent, but a number of eyewitnesses have taken to Twitter to relay a story of Antifa protesters attempting to rile up the police by launching water bottles and rocks in their general direction.  News coverage showed a number of these riotous liberals attempting to destroy barricades and march on the venue itself shortly after the President wrapped up his remarks, once again leading the nation to believe that the radical left is preparing for a massive conflict in the streets of America.

During this mini-uprising, a spectacular thing occurred that many of us may have witnessed while browsing social media in the moments following Trump’s speech.

Thanks to the perpetuity of YouTube, we can relive this moment time and again.

In the clip above, an Antifa protester, conspicuously donning shorts with his protective gas mask, decides that he will not only disobey the police order to disperse from the area, but he will do so in style by sending a tear gas canister back from whence it came.  Notice the wonky run up, and the poor execution.  This young man certainly never played soccer as a child, as you can see from his inability to keep his head down and follow through on the strike.

Then comes the immediate retreat.  We will give him points for not turning his back entirely to police as he scurries away, but he is certainly moving away from the action with haste.

Stopping only when he reaches the relative safety of the radical leftist hive mind, this not-so-brave soul then glances around, making sure that his liberal kin have captured the whole thing on their camera phones.  He pauses to think of how exactly he’ll acquire this footage for his own personal Facebook page.  “Imagine the likes!”, he thinks.

Then, tragedy strikes this young man as the police send another tear gas canister careening directly for his….um, center of gravity.

Understandably, our young social media, er, justice warrior hits the deck with a force, writhing and twitching as he attempts to determine what’s left of his future generations.  Then, something glorious occurs:  Another young protester swoops in to help…wearing a Colin Kaepernick jersey.

One must ask themselves the question:  Was this merely a jersey, or was the unemployed Kaepernick there on the field with this man that day?  Surely he has nothing better to do.  Alas, we know that it couldn’t be Colin himself, as the washed up NFL quarterback would surely have let us known that he was going to Phoenix to protest the President via social media.  Over and over again.

At the end of the night, the score remained Phoenix Police: 2, Antifa: 0, with points scored for each of this poor young man’s bruises.

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