pageant

Pageants AKA Half Naked Scholarship Programs

Apparently it is pageant season. I can tell by all of the Facebook posts I am seeing of half naked young ladies with big hair and enough makeup to make Tammy Faye Baker say “too much”. I almost thought it was prom season but then I saw the sashes, a sure fire sign that somebody wants a crown.

The real kicker was one post that said “The grace of God was shining through my angel tonight”. I wonder if this lady thought that because in her mind the grace of God was ALL that was holding that dress in place so that her 13 year old  didn’t qualify for a spread in Playboy. I suspect that actually had more to do with what had to be some industrial strength double sided tape and nothing to do with God.

Here is a history lesson for you. P.T.  Barnum, yes the circus guy, staged the first American beauty pageant in 1854. It was closed down after public protest. Barnum also famously said “There is a sucker born every minute”.

Barnum was definitely on point about suckers where pageants are concerned. My wife has given me a crash course over the years. She firmly believes in modesty and frugality so she is not a fan of these contests. She was in one once. It was part of the ritual of Senior Year at her high school. That was also her first lesson in the evils of peer pressure, but that is a tale for another day. The winner got a $100 scholarship. Seems like a fine thing, right? Well, as it turns out the winner spent $250 on her dress. Now I am no Pythagoras, but even I know that doesn’t make much sense.

If it is supposed to be about a scholarship, then why do we generally see lots of flesh and very little brain? I am fairly certain that if it was truly about money for college the questions wouldn’t be “If you were a color, what would you be and why?”

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