Leonardo DiCaprio says climate deniers –anyone who disagrees with an actor on climate science – shouldn’t be allowed to hold public office.
I was so inspired by this bold and selfless stand that I created for myself a new life plan in the hope that I can stoke as much positive change in the world as Leo. It’s not really a new plan, rather, but one that has been done and is having profound success. I call it the Leo Plan.
After I become a famous actor and make millions of dollars, I’m going to use my fame and popularity that came from playing make-believe on television to jet around the world with the wealthiest 0.001%, get invited to the White House to enjoy a few helpings of champagne, caviar, and foie gras, all while discussing the important issues of the day, like how to save the world from itself because they’re too stupid to be left to their own devices.
Never mind the fact that my private jet will likely emit more carbon in a few trips around the world to accept awards for my philanthropic heroism than the average American will produce driving their kids to soccer practice in the family minivan for 20 years.
Never mind the totally negligible detail that the policies I’m advocating won’t penetrate my lifestyle in the slightest, one that is insured against tyranny by A) being filthy rich and B) being in the right circles by advocating for the tyrant’s policies.
What’s really important here is that we force everyone in America – neigh, the entire world – to acknowledge that their lifestyles are an endangerment to themselves, and they’re too stupid to know it. Sorry, guys, but the fun is over. It’s time to surrender the dirty cars for the less affordable yet government approved and subsidized low-emission plastic pods that no one wants. I know, I know, you thought you were smart enough to make your own choices in life. But you were wrong, and Leo is here to tell you what’s right. Don’t argue with me, your name isn’t Leonardo, and you didn’t donate millions of dollars to the right President, did you?
It’s finally time to put an end to the excessive air conditioning, for the scientific consensus from John Kerry is that these satanic death machines are more dangerous than ISIS. I had the sense to get rid of my air unit before it caged a handful of Christians and burned them alive in a pool of lit gasoline, but you weren’t quite as proactive. It’s okay, I’m with the government and I’m here to help you.
It’s finally time to put an end to the debate since the ‘science is settled’. After all, where would we be if we had let live the extremist revolutionaries who told us the earth wasn’t flat? Or that the edge of the ocean wasn’t a cliff awaiting certain death? Think of the untold societal destruction we avoided by jailing all who opposed the settled judicial consensus of the Dred Scott decision declaring that black people could not be American citizens. If you’re still not convinced, need I remind you of the success Nazi Germany had in ridding the world of the most undesirable among us for being of the wrong opinions and ancestry, all based on the societal consensus that the government elites were correct and justifiable in purging the public of its regressive dissenters.
Honestly, this is an open and shut case. The Leo Plan is the only way to prosperity and salvation.
Seriously, all kidding aside, isn’t it convenient that the only solution to this self described global pandemic most previously dubbed ‘climate change’ – one that is only advanced with coercion and dishonesty – is to submit to an ever more powerful centralized government? Yes, the advocates for big government use their tools of propaganda to convince a free people that the only way to save them from themselves is to accept more big government. How odd! In order to save you from yourself, you must surrender more of your liberty, accept further intrusions into your life by big brother, pay higher taxes on everything from income to breathing, accept fewer choices in the market place, even surrender the freedom to have a differing opinion from Leo and Obama, all to save the planet. Mind you, these policies are no different than the policies advanced by statists before climate change was ever a thing, but this time it’s really necessary!
It’s as ingenious as it is wicked and disgraceful.
How charming that the party who claims the mantle of tolerance and equality will not tolerate, nor deem equitable, any opinion differing from their own.
Precious Leo says that anyone whose opinion differs from his should not be allowed to hold public office. Would we ever apply that logic anywhere else? Granted, I don’t think statist imbeciles like him should ever be allowed to speak on television unless it’s as a fictional character, but that’s a charge I give to the American people who should reject his nonsense by choice, not government to forcibly enact on everyone. That’s the difference between liberty and tyranny. Choices. Individual freedom versus standards so good they must be mandated on the many and determined by the few.
By buying into this nonsense, we are a nation begging for assisted suicide by way of tyranny. Unable to accept responsibility for our own lives, our societal woes of poverty, sin, and personal insecurities, we surrender ourselves to big government who promises to ‘fix’ it all with massive endless debt, entitlements, a steady stream of psychotropic drugs, and blatant propaganda and lies, all at the expense of our liberty.
If Leo and these nut jobs are so convinced the earth is doomed, let them go colonize mars and form their own special society. Leave us on earth alone. We’ll see whether liberty or tyranny is the more viable model for prosperity. Sure, we’ve seen socialism, statism, communism, and all the despotic ‘isms’ fail time and again, but maybe Mars will be different. I think Matt Damon is already there growing potatoes.
I instead choose to live my life as a man determined to be free – physically, mentally, and spiritually.