Jeb turtle roadkill

Donald Trump Just Delivered the Death Blow to the Limping Jeb Bush Campaign

You can consider it a low blow if you want, but Donald Trump’s most recent stunt just added insult to fatality for Jeb Bush’s already limping campaign for president. This might have been a mercy kill actually.

I actually feel a little bad for Jeb Bush. You know you’re in trouble when the exclamation point on your bumper sticker starts to seem like a cruel insider’s idea of an ironic joke.

Just a few days ago, the poor guy was getting grilled for handing out ceramic tortoises that he said were the symbol of his campaign—you know: “slow and steady wins the race” and all that. He got visibly irritated when people wouldn’t stop talking about the turtles instead of his campaign.

That’s not even halfway the worst part of this campaign for poor Jeb. He has been embarrassed numerous times in debates, and the “low-energy” candidate had to act as his own applause prompter at a key point in one of his speeches when even his supporters got lulled to sleep by his apparent lack of enthusiasm. His mom even threw him some shade. You really should check out some of his worst moments. I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry:

All that hurts. A lot. But this … Oh, this kills:

Apparently some Jeb Bush campaign staffer allowed the ownership of the domain JebBush.com to expire for just long enough to allow an intrepid Donald Trump campaign staffer to buy it. Yes. Buy it. Right out from under Jeb Bush. Oh my.

So guess what? JebBush.com—the official website of Jeb Bush, mind you—is currently redirecting to DonaldJTrump.com—Donald Trump’s official campaign website. Ouch.

I don’t think I have ever seen anything more humiliating than this in all my time watching presidential campaigns. It’s time to quit, Jeb. I’m not even joking. You may say slow and steady wins the race, but this feels like slow and steady across a superhighway. This feels like lying down in front of the running of the bulls. This is insane. It’s high time you scrape your lethargic self off the pavement and quit while you’re behind.

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Michael Minkoff, Jr.

Michael Minkoff is a writer, thinker, musician, and producer. He honestly does not prefer writing articles about politics, but he sincerely hopes you enjoy reading them. He also wonders why he is typing this in the third person.

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