chicago

Chicago Hellscape: “Zombie Dogs” Prompt Public Health Warning in Windy City

The city of Chicago has been under duress for decades, thanks to the overwhelming liberal policies enacted by their local politicians.

Most notably, the Windy City’s 1982 handgun ban has made Chicago the laughingstock of the midwest as far as gun violence goes, outpacing even the dystopian Detroit for murders, gang violence, and shootings over the course of the last several years.

Chiraq, as it has become known, is proving once and for all the old anecdote that, should guns be outlawed, only the outlaws will have guns.

Now, however, a strange new threat has emerged in Chicago, prompting local authorities to make one of the strangest public health warnings in the history of the nation:  Zombie dogs.

“Police are warning residents of a Chicago suburb to avoid helping ‘zombie dogs’ because they are infected coyotes that could sicken other pets with the disease.

“Hanover Park Police Department posted the warning on its Facebook page on Wednesday, saying the coyotes, usually nocturnal animals, are infected with sarcoptic mange that causes them to be active in the day.

“’Infected animals will often appear “mangy” — which looks just like it sounds. They suffer hair loss and develop secondary infections, eventually looking like some sort of “zombie” dog,’ the department said.

“’Please DO NOT approach these animals or allow your pets to approach them. You can avoid attracting them to your yards and neighborhoods by not leaving food out and by securing your garbage,’ the department said.”

Coyotes are not typically rare in certain major metropolises around the country, with Chicago and Atlanta being some of the more prevalent urban locales for these skittish creatures.

The overwhelming mange issue, however, has created a much larger problem than wild animals culling the outdoor cat population in the Chicago suburbs.  The disease is highly contagious among animals, and could easily be spread to household pets that cross the path of these sickly coyotes.

Coyotes bear enough of a resemblance to domesticated dogs that there have been issues of confusion among Americans in the past.  Given that mange will often greatly alter the appearance of the affected animals, it is highly likely that an uninformed citizen could mistake the animal for a sick pet, prompting compassion instead of caution.

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