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After Huge Loss, Trump Outraged Over “Rigged” Outcome [SATIRE]

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump expressed outrage after his favored New York Yankees lost to the Oakland A’s 7 to 3 on Thursday.

Soon after the game ended, Trump posted to his Twitter account: “The people of Yankee Nation had their win taken away from them by the phony A’s. Biggest story in sports. This will not be allowed!”

His comments came after the loss which included three stolen bases by Billy Burns, Coco Crisp and Marcus Semien. Immediately after the game, Trump tweeted “How is it possible that the A’s get to second base when they had a guy on first and no one walked or got a hit? Great anger – totally unfair!”

“We’ve got millions of more fans than the A’s, and we’ve got the best players in the world, and we keep fighting, fighting, fighting, and then you have the A’s where they just get all of these runs, and it’s not a system,” Trump said, during a Fox News broadcast. “There was no hitting. They stole the game. They stole bases.  We’re going to be filing several protests because reality is, you know, they are not playing by the rules.”

When news anchor Bret Baier pointed out that it was in the 1860’s when baseball players first started stealing bases, Trump responded, “The system is rigged, it’s crooked.  The people out there are going crazy, they’re absolutely crazy because there wasn’t a hit, no one got a hit, and then the guy runs to second base.”

Baier also noted that the Yankees could have also stolen bases to try to advance runners.  Mr. Trump answered, “The concept of baseball is the concept that we have to have hitting within baseball.  I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.  And I told myself that stealing bases may be within the rules, but is it ethical…is it ethical?  I don’t know, maybe it isn’t.  That’s what people are saying, that it isn’t ethical.  This really shouldn’t be the way it is, and you’re allowed to do that. And you’re allowed to just run to the next base. What kind of a system is this?  Lawsuit coming.”

A's YankeesTrump Sports Enthusiasm Manager Paul Manafort accused the A’s of using “Gestapo tactics” to intimidate Yankees players.  “You go to these baseball games, and you see the tactics, Gestapo tactics, the scorched-earth tactics,” Manafort said during an NBC News interview.  Manafort continued, “A’s players were throwing high and inside at 95 miles per hour.  That’s not Yankees style, and it’s not Donald Trump’s style.  But it is A’s style.  And that’s going to wear thin very fast.”

Trump first injected controversy into the baseball season on his opening day press conference.

“The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s players,” he said. “When Cuba sends its players, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending players that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. And some, I assume, are good players.”

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Karl Dierenbach

Karl Dierenbach has worked as a mechanical engineer for an automotive company and as an attorney in private practice. He is now in his third career as a political writer, looking to advance conservative principles. His background provides a firm grip on constitutional and legal issues coupled with analytical and problem solving skills.

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